• * M sent file hELLA.gif.
  • John!: perfECT
  • M: eheheheh
  • John!: also if you pronounce GIF as JIF that file name is almost Hella.Jeff
  • M: om g


Living for the day is all well and good until you realize you also want to do that tomorrow.

How To Solve A Problem

  1. The first step is, of course, denying and refusing to acknowledge the presence of any problem at all.
  2. Blame everyone around you for not noticing the problem.
  3. Communication is key. Communication, however, is an activity that requires two participants. Establish that you are perfectly willing to communicate with whoever you are supposed to communicate to while refusing to do so in reality. You can then claim that there is nothing you can do when opposing party is unwilling to communicate.
  4. During all of that tomfoolery, suffer from the consequences of the unsolved problem (which, obviously, does not exist whatsoever).
  5. Everybody goes on a guilt trip and everybody feels bad. That isn’t entirely a bad thing because feeling guilty obviously implies that you are a good person. So everyone also kinda feels good at the same time, though, apparently because of the fact that they feel bad.
  6. That makes no sense at all and everyone is confused. Everyone goes back to minding their own business.
  7. Problem? What Problem?
  8. optionally, rinse and repeat.
“Sometimes, Winston. Sometimes they are five. Sometimes they are three. Sometimes they are all of them at once.”
— George Orwell, Ninety Eighty-Four
  • (At a lecture about space travel and related technologies)
  • student: Using current technology, is it possible to create a gravitational field in space?
  • lecturer: Yes. In fact, good sir, you are doing it right now.